This blog break has been good for me. I never realized how much pressure I was feeling from having to meet some blogosphere standard, to look good every day and get dressed in an outfit that hasn’t been photographed before. I probably put this pressure on myself, assuming what potential sponsors want to see in a blog they work with. The pressure is one of the reasons I took a step back. The lack of creativity among ‘fashion bloggers’ is another; I hate to sound above it all (because I’m not. I too have fallen victim to these actions), but throwing on a bunch of gifted shit does not mean you have style. Bloggers are wearing the same [gifted] products, going to the same events and posting the same f*cking Instagram photos. Does it not annoy anyone else that substance has seemingly disappeared from the blogosphere? I’m not claiming I have style, but I do hope to explore it and find out what speaks to me. I don’t want to feel stifled or pigeonholed.
Now that that’s off my chest, I also wanted to share another reason I took the break: inadequacy. In a world where every woman my age is polished to perfection and barely has a fine line to her name, I felt like I didn’t belong. I was not given extra-smooth skin, lustrous hair or legs for days (to name a few) and these things started to eat me up inside. While I refuse to touch up my photos, I also can’t help but feel not pretty enough to post photos of myself online. To top it off, I have (and always have had) a job completely unrelated to fashion, which I felt held me back from being a blogger.
But that’s the thing: I’m not a blogger! I want to dedicate my time to being a better human being, in the real world. I have much to work on to help myself and my personal relationships grow. My resources are better spent there than lamenting over not being good enough for my hobby.
I'm going to keep this blog around, but will post on my schedule and in my voice. I won't track traffic because the point is not to garner sponsorship. This place is meant to be fun and that's what it will be.